Have you ever been minding your business and someone makes a comment that rubs you the wrong way? Or their energy is just off?
Like….they aren’t mean…but they aren’t nice. You know? They're...Nice/Nasty. 😃 😏
For example, you love your OOTD💃🏼 and a girl at school comes up with judge-y eyes and says, “that’s an interesting combination- only you could wear that”
A super confident girl would reply with something like: “Yep! only ME...slay queen🤺👑"
But some of us would begin to question our outfit choice 🙇🏽♀️
Another example would be if you got your hair done and a girl makes a comment like,
“ok girl….I see you FINALLY got your hair done”
Can you feel the shade?
If YOU like your hair, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
BUT the comment could make you feel some kind of way regardless.
Passive aggressive behavior can be so subtle, it will make you feel like you’re trippin… but you know you’re not crazy. 😜
The truth is, everybody’s NOT going to like you. But I would rather just know you don’t like me and keep my distance than to play games. You may be fake but my instinct is not. I KNOW what I feel. So the whole pretending like you’re being nice but you’re actually being mean doesn’t work for me. I see right through it.
But for a lot of girls, it can be a little more difficult to pinpoint and process...and address.
Girls need a place to belong and in circles of friends, this can become problematic.
You don’t want to be shut out of your entire friend group because of one person.
And you don’t want to make a scene and cause drama.
And you don’t want to suffer in silence. So what do you do?
HERE ARE A FEW TIPS ON HOW TO HANDLE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR:
Recognize it- First of all, just recognize passive aggressive behavior for what it is. Your feelings are absolutely valid. If you don’t feel good after an interaction with someone- trust that feeling.
Process it- Rather than clap back, take some time to think about WHY you feel the way you feel. And WHY that person may feel the need to come at you a certain way. Whatever you do, DO NOT discuss this with another friend in the group- trust me on this. Journal, Pray, or talk to your mom, auntie or a mentor....if you don't have one- JOIN SISIETY.
Have Compassion- I can tell you right now that anyone who is making passive aggressive comments has their own issues that have nothing to do with you. They are either jealous, insecure, projecting pain or being defensive. And if you can see if from this POV, you will be able to have compassion for them 💖
Address it- coming from a place of compassion will allow you to address the situation with love. And that means love for yourself first. If you don’t feel good being in someone’s presence you can always choose to leave when they are around in order to protect your peace ☮️
If she makes a low key diss comment you can also choose to ignore it. There is actually a lot of power in having a cool, calm and collected, quiet confidence. When you really know who you are you don’t need to give anyone the satisfaction of responding to foolishness. You can just look at her and smile with sincere love. BE UNBOTHERED 💅🏽
If you DO feel the need to say something don’t let it be passive aggressive in return. For example if she says- “you finally got your hair done” don’t respond with and “you finally brushed your teeth”. Don’t be petty. Keep your cool and your confidence- you can reply with: “Nice of you to notice- Yea it was def time to take those braids out. I LOVE my hair!” Flip it and walk away.
That should shut it down. But make a mental note that anyone making backhanded comments is not your friend. Keep your distance and stick close to those real ones you feel safe with. Your spirit will let you know.
This is a topic that can go on forever so I’m going to do a part two on Ignoring. Because this can actually be one the hardest passive aggressive behaviors to handle. Especially in a friend group. It can feel super awkward if you have a girl who is being super cool with everyone else except you and it’s obvious. So we’ll talk about that one later.
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